No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
