I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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