i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
