i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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