I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize