things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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