brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
