I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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