aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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