she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
