summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize