What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
