Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
