What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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