The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
