im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
