That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
