Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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