Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
