my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
