he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
