sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
