Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
My balls are so social today.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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