his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
