Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
