I cannot find my penis.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
A+ Viking dick
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
