I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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