i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
