Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
