Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You were trust falling into bushes
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think people are normalizing furries
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
