were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
