Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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