so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
