It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
