im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
