watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
