Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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