ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
