Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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