hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i need some magic done to my vagina
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
