We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
