eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
