My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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