White coat. Heels.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
