just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
