Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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