so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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