All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
