So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You may now shotgun with the bride
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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