Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Terrible idea I love it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
