i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
