my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
