I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
