Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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