It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
