I think I died a long time ago.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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