sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm really busy with my period
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