your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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