I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
