it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize