boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
