I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
